abuse, addiction, betrayal, divorce, infidelity, repentance, Spiritual

Next to Murder

In my experience, when a man has betrayed his wife and family and his addiction has been discovered the overwhelming response of those in positions of help and authority has been to encourage the betrayed wife to reconcile with her husband, no matter how grevious the betrayal has been. In the church, leaders are told not to even so much as suggest she leave her husband. I am so dismayed by this. I understand the hesitancy to counsel for a divorce, but this is a sin next to murder in seriousness and the only sin that Jesus, himself, said rose to the level of a divorce.

Alma 39:3-5

And this is not all, my son. Thou didst do that which was grievous unto me; for thou didst forsake the ministry, and did go over into the land of Siron among the borders of the Lamanites, after the harlotIsabel.

Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou shouldst have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.

Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?

I am shocked that this is not taught more clearly to women who come to church leaders for counsel in the case of adultery and infidelity.

It seems that the church policy has been to ignore this very clear doctrine in favor of the social construct of reconciliation. I know that the Church is not condoning this, but individual Church Leaders seem to be taking matters into their own hands. Instead the betrayed spouse is encouraged to deny her own feelings of intense betrayal in favor of forgiving the unfaithful husband without any assurances from him that he will get into recovery for his issues. Nt only that, but infidelity and cheating is considered abuse! The number of times reconciliation is pushed on the betrayed wife is stunning! Women all over the church and from all walks of life are being encouraged to suffer more abuse silently in support of a porn or sex addicted husband. I knew several women in my support group that had been supporting thier husbands in their addictions for 20 years! I could not see myself doing this. I would not allow myself to wither and die on the vine while he indulged in his addictions for decades. After all, I had no idea how long he had already had this problem in his life. It would be impossible for Church Leaders to know either.

In a return to solid doctrine, Church Leaders should teach that the woman with an adulterous husband has no obligation to remain with him. Indeed the scriptures are clear on this issue;

“In the Book of Mormon, Korihor taught the people of Zarahemla that there were no absolute moral standards, only “foolish traditions … which lead you away into a belief of things which are not so” (Alma 30:14, 16). In his devilish line of reasoning, people might pursue any earthly gratification without fear of punishment or guilt…”

“Anyone choosing to embrace immoral thoughts and deeds instead of hearkening to the Savior’s commandments is to be barred from his kingdom (see Gal. 5:16–211 Ne. 15:33–34).”

“Sometimes we limit our own progress by thinking of minimum expectations as maximum goals. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is the minimum expectation the Lord has of our conduct towards each other. The higher, celestial law is: “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.”

“And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out” (D&C 42:22–23D&C 63:16). (reference to talk.) The Lord clearly sees this as serious. I do not believe that he would have his daughters suffer this kind of abuse in the favor of his sons, but that is exactly what appears to be happening, maybe even unintentionally.

I don’t pretend to want to, or need to, tell the Church what they sould or shouldn’t do, doctrinally or by policy. But I can address what I wish would have been done for me. Women who find themselves in my position do not have any frame of reference for what they are up against, so its a natural step for her to seek counsel from her Church Leaders, which is what I did. I was encouraged over and over to reconcile. It was even suggested that I needed to be forgiving and understanding of him and his feelings. He did a good job of convincing Church Leaders that I wasn’t supportive of him in his recovery eventhough he had done nothing to prove he was even doing recovery work. Therapists and experts call this secondary abuse. Victim blaming and shaming is a real problem. Too many Church Leaders, in their efforts to help the addict, blame and shame the real victim, the wife. To make this more complicated, addicts are very good at blameshifting back to the wife. Church Leaders often fall for their mixed up narrative. You will hear things like, “if she had been more supportive, I wouldn’t have needed to seek someone else.” Or worse, “if she took care of my needs in bed, I wouldn’t have to go to other women.” For a betrayed spouse, these accusations are nearly unbearable. Because the Church Leader does not have a basic understand of the denial tactics of an addicted brain, they will often believe him over her, effectively cutting her off from much needed support and help.

Reconciliation nearly cost me my life! Church Leaders want the eternal family to stay intact. I wanted my eternal family to stay intact! We all wanted to save the family, everyone but my Cheater! We all had the same goal and we thought we were all on the same page, reconciliation. But the Cheater continued to cheat without regard for anyone or anything. I would find out about 6 more affairs during the period of time that we were supposed to be reconciling. Even the professionals were tricked into believing his sincerity. So how do Church Leaders and Mental Health Professionals deal with the lies and treachery of the addict brain?

If I were ever to find myself facing this again I would want the following to happen;

  • Those in positions of authority would encourage me to separate from the addicted adulterer until he puts together a plan to provide safety and how he is going to regain trust. Then they need to work with him to put together that plan and monitor his progress. Its not the wife’s job to check up on him.
  • During this time of separation I would have been encourage to protect myself financially. Addicts who have no intention of stopping will hide and lie about the couple’s finances, he might even be anticipating an inevitable end and start liquidating or hiding assests. I would suggest a legal separation. When you discover cheating of any kind there are two people to call – a therapist and a lawyer. Protect your finances now. If you reconcile, great! If you do not reconcile, the separation agreement will become a template for a divorce agreement. A separation agreement does not mean you intend to file for a divorce. The addict will accuse you of that, but if he does that is a red flag. If he loves you then he will gladly support and protect you.
  • Give him a time limit to coming up with an addiction recovery plan. I gave my Cheater one year, it ended up being 18 months. If they are not willing to do it in the time frame that works for you then they are just not willing. Period. Recovery is all about putting promises into solid, measurable actions. If you need him to see a counselor, attend 12-steps, visit with the Bishop weekly, and attend church, to feel safe with him again then when he does those things he will be building trust. Trust is earned in this case. At any rate, you will not be strung along for infinity with no end in sight.
  • I would not move back in until he does the plan for a minimum of 3 months.
  • If you are experiencing multiple D-days, he is not coming clean with his behaviors, and he is continuling to lie to you then you will know he is not serious about reconciliation. Its time to come up with an exit plan. Those supporting you should be encouraging of that.
  • Have a legal mid-nuptial agreement drawn up. Should he do everything that you ask and you move back in with him and reconcile, you want to protect yourself from further cheating and abuse. YOU need to come up with a plan of what you will do if he should cheat again. HE needs to agree to it. Be sure and tie this to some consequences that will sting enough to be a deterrent to any relapses or slips. Again, see a lawyer for this. (He will also be willing to pay your legal fees.)
  • I would have my Church Leaders, his Church Leaders, my professionals, and his professionals back me up on the above actions. The addict needs to know that he is in serious peril and he needs to make good on his promises, or cut you loose.

Too much is at stake for the Addict to minimize the situation and convince others that this “is no big deal!” It is a big deal! It is a divorcable offense and a sin next to murder in seriousness. The reason this is called a sin next to murder is because he murders the souls of his wife and children! His very soul and salvation is at stake, not to mention his marriage and family. It would be great if everyone concerned treated it with the correct level of seriousness.

The Cupcake Warrior

Be Sweet, Stay Strong

Trauma Recovery

On the Road to Indifference

Chump Lady says that the best thing you can do when you have been chumped is to get the the land of Meh just as soon as possible. Meh is not easy. Meh is hard! Meh = Indifference. It is that point in your recovery from Betrayal Trauma when you don’t think of your Cheater, either good or bad. indifference is the goal.

“Meh” — that liberating place of acceptance — is where you no longer are consumed with cheater drama. You don’t love them. You don’t hate them. You sort of pity anyone within a five-mile radius of them, but their existence doesn’t rock yours anymore. You’re Meh. Whatever.

Chump Lady

Trust That the Cheater Sucks

One of the things that keep Chumps from getting to Meh is that they do not trust that the Cheater Sucks. Chumps keep holding out hope that the Cheater will come to their senses and want their life, wife, and children back, otherwise know as, smoking “hopium.” But I thought my Cheater was “special” or “different” and worth holding out with my best hope for reconciliation. I just could not phathom that he would willingly give up his amazing family for someone who is clearly a step down. Logically, it made no sense to me. It still makes no sense! The most glowing thing he can say about his wifestress is that she is “nice” to him. Did you catch that? He is in a relationship with her because he was willing to give up his family, children, and grandchildren, and his best explaination is that she is “nice to him.” (Insert eyeroll here.) Trust that he sucks! Once I could trust that he sucks, I stepped on the Road to Indifference.

The Pick Me Dance

So I did the pick me dance way longer than I should have. I, mistakenly, thought I could win him back! I mean, I had 38 years of solid credibility! Why wouldn’t he pick me? The “Pick Me” Dance” is how the cheater gets the wife to prove to him why he should choose his wife of decades over his mistress of weeks or months. This is another piece of the infidelity puzzle I did not understand. So I danced. I danced for a long time with no success. I didn’t realize that he was never going to pick me. Once I stopped dancing the “Pick Me Dance” I step on the Road to Indifference.

No Contact

The biggest single thing I did to get on the Road to Indifference was to go No Contact. No contact is a game changer! The “no contact” rule is important for a number of reasons, most important of which is that it is an effective coping mechanism to help you move on. The “no contact” rule has certainly worked not just for me, but also for a lot of other people. In a nutshell: Without any physical reminders about your ex, you’re able to get over the breakup in a shorter span of time. The single most critical thing I did to get on the Road to Indifference was to go no contact. And I am talking about this kind of no contact, not this! Some people go no contact to get their ex back. I am not talking about that kind of no contact! I am talking about the kind of no contact with a narcissist. Make not mistake, Cheaters ARE narcissists! And being cheated on is abuse! The last thing you want to have back in your life is an unrepentent cheater. Real no contact is a game changer! Going No Contact is stepping on the Road to Indifference.

No contact is willing yourself to not engage with crazy.

Chump Lady

Maybe Taylor Swift said it best in her new song “I Forgot that You Existed.” I love that she so beautifully describes how she would have done anything for her cheater, but he was just too dense to get it. Yeah. “It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference.”

“I Forgot That You Existed” by Taylor Swift

I Forgot that You Existed

[Verse 1]
How many days did I spend thinking
‘Bout how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong?
Lived in the shade you were throwing
‘Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone
And I couldn’t get away from ya
In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah
Your name on my lips, tongue-tied
Free rent, living in my mind

[Pre-Chorus]
But then something happened one magical night

[Chorus]
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
I forgot that you

[Verse 2]
Got out some popcorn
As soon as my rep started going down, down, down
Laughed on the school yard
As soon as I tripped up and hit the ground, ground, ground
And I would’ve stuck around for ya
Would’ve fought the whole town, so yeah
Would’ve been right there, front row
Even if nobody came to your show

[Pre-Chorus]
But you showed who you are, then one magical night

[Chorus]
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
I forgot that you

[Bridge]
Sent me a clear message
Taught me some hard lessons
I just forget what they were
It’s all just a blur

[Chorus]
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
I did, I did, I did
It isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference
So, yeah

I am not yet completely indifferent. But I am well on my way thanks to trusting that the Cheater Sucks, refusing to do the Pick Me Dance, and going No Contact. So what did you do to get on the Road to Indifference? Leave a comment and let me know what strategies worked best for you!

Stay Sweet, Be Strong

Note: If you don’t read Chump Lady then you should start reading her as soon as possible! Her Blog is this only thing I read that was the straight up truth, it helped get my head straight, and see what was done to me was abuse.

Becoming, My Story, Trauma Recovery

The Arrow and the Semicolon

My view on what it means to be a “good member of the Church” has drastically changed over the past 5 years. I used to be pretty uppity about the commandments and what is acceptable behavior as a follower of Christ, and what is not. It’s not that I judged others all that much. I kind of subscribed to the idea that what and how you believe is between you and God. I was, for sure, in competition with myself though. Occasionally, I would have something to think about how this person, or that one acted. I want to publicly apologize for that right now! To tell the truth, I thought my Cheater was one of the most devout people I knew. He was all about going to church every week, and making sure we all behaved a certain way, and did certain things. We said prayers as a family every night. We mostly didn’t go to the store on Sundays. We paid tithing. He frowned upon turning down callings. And swearing was off limits!

#ifitsokforjgoldenkimballitsokforme

Scripture study was hit and miss, but nobody is perfect right? Well, you can imagine my surprise when all his dirty little secrets emerged!

Up until this point, I took the counsel of David A. Bednar seriously; outward appearances are a sign of an inward commitment. I learned, the hard way, this is not always the case. The Mosaic Law was a law of outward performances, and we see how well it worked out for them. Nowadays, it’s harder to tell who is really committed to the gospel, and who isn’t. Nothing against Elder Bednar. I still believe his talk is true, but like many things in the gospel, it is nuanced. Before you get all your feathers ruffled, it’s still a favorite talk of mine! I’m just not all judgy about it anymore. I’m not going inactive so simmer down.

#thatshipsailedlongagoandIwasntonit

I’m just saying that I have mellowed a lot over the past few years. After what the Cheater did…well, I can’t top that, and I don’t want to! Murder anyone? No thanks, I’m good!

#amIright

It makes anything I do, or didn’t do, or want to do, pale by comparison. So I subscribe to the same philosophies as the Sistas in Zion. Nothing is so bad that it can be fixed, and I own my humanness.

#fixmejesus

You want to swear? Go right ahead! I might join you, if I’m in the mood. This is one reason I had purple hair for the last 5 years! It’s something the Cheater would have hated and scowled down on me with a look of contempt. I don’t care! I’ll take my purple hair and raise you your 31 affairs! Do you see why my perspective has changed? I just don’t have time or patience for the silliness of worrying about what everyone else is doing. I decided I’m going to live my life on my terms, being as real, and approachable, and transparent, and accountable as I can be. And I don’t give a flying flip which commandments you keep and which ones you don’t. I’m not keeping score! They way my life has gone, I pretty much have no opinion on your life!

Which brings me to the arrow and the semicolon…

I came across the semicolon movement not long after I attempted to take my own life and it made a profound impact on me. The idea behind it is that a semicolon is placed in a sentence at the end of a thought but the author also has another connected thought. In the semicolon movement it has come to represent a life tragedy that is devastating; but the person has the wherewithal to keep going. Their life suffered a big blow; but they were able to go on. (See what I did there?) Simply put, it means your story isn’t over yet! Beautiful!

The betrayal, and resulting trauma, was most definitely a semicolon moment on my life! My life nearly ended because of it. At the exact moment I learned about the semicolon I knew I needed to have one! The question was, how? I worried about jewelry getting lost or tarnished. I was baffled as to how to proceed. One day I was discussing it with the kids and someone mentioned a tattoo. That was it! This had to be a tattoo! But…but…but…I was overcome by all the years of teachings that my body is a temple and…and….and. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, even though I loved the idea of it! So I sat on it, and thought about it. For an entire year I rolled this idea around in my head.

Then the kids took matters into there own hands. They would gift me the tattoo for my birthday as a symbol of my new life and new beginnings. My mother’s heart was so joyful and proud of them! They encouraged me to do it, “You know you want to!”, they kidded. I really did want to!

Two days later, it was planned. We would just go ‘visit’ a tattoo parlor and see if the vibe was ok. If it felt sketchy at all, we would leave. To my surprise, and delight, the whole family came to watch! The kids and grandkids. Everyone was so encouraging and supportive. The place we went to was great and they had an appointment available right then.

It was meant to be!

#bestbirthdaypresentever

So now I have a tattoo!

#itdidnthurtthatmuch

Never in my life would I have ever imagined it. The idea was preposterous in my old life. I’m pretty sure some people who know me have had minor heart failure over it. And no, hell hasn’t frozen over, and pigs still do NOT fly! But in my new life, it fits! I designed it myself. I had to have it mean something significantly profound.

There is the semicolon in the shape of a heart. This represents that my heart has survived this! There was a time I didn’t believe it would. People really do die of a broken heart, I thought I would be one of them. My heart didn’t shatter beyond repair either. It did bleed out a little bit though, represented by the flourishes.

Then there is the arrow. I have felt since the beginning of this journey that I was a warrior. First, I was fighting for my marriage, nearly to my death. Second, then fighting so hard to recover myself from this damnable PTSD. I still fight everyday to get out of bed and live my life. It’s a choice I consciously have to make each day. Still. So when an arrow is shot from a bow, it must be pulled back to have the momentum and energy to be propelled forward. I have had to be pulled back, almost to the point of breaking, to move forward. Together, these symbols have a profound effect on me. And the fact that my children wanted me to have this is all the more significant.

Everyday, I look down at my arm and I am reminded that I MUST get up and keep fighting because I owe it to me, and I owe it to them to be more than ok with my life. They need me to be there for them. It’s sort of a promise between us, made in blood, that I have a second part to my sentence. The profoundness of a tattoo is that it was the only way this has any significance. It’s a blood pact with my children, and all the people who love me, that I will never allow someone to abuse me to the point of death again. Not ever.

And do you know what? Somehow, I think Heavenly Father is ok with that!

Be Strong, Stay Sweet!

Did you know that 60% of all women who are betrayed have suicidal thoughts?

Did you know that almost 90% of all people know someone who is close to them who has experienced betrayal?

Becoming, Trauma Recovery

It’s a Jungle Out There!

It’s been nearly 5 years since my 2nd D-day and 10 years since the first one. So many years spent healing from something I did not cause. This has been a truly life altering event for me. I was literally flung out of my nice, comfortable life into a jungle of unfamiliar territory. I might as well have been dropped in a foreign country with nothing, that might have been easier.

I have had to literally start over, very in late in my life. Here I am in my 60’s with no husband, no marketable skills, and no way to support myself at an age that most people are retiring. I do have a comfortable, and well deserved, monthly alimony check. But that is a danger all on its own. I still do not have complete freedom from being manipulated because of that money. The unfairness of it all is overwhelming, if I let my thoughts go down that rabbit hole. It’s a pity party I am all too familiar with and I do not want to attend anymore. I’ve spent too much time there. It’s time to move on. Like the Cheater always said, “It is what it is.”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the purpose of it all. Self reflection is a habit of mine. Why did this happen to me? What is the reason for it? A long time ago I learned that God doesn’t bring you to something so monumentally life altering, or earth shattering, unless He wants you to find a purpose and meaning in it. Sometimes these lessons are meant just for you, but sometimes, they are bigger than that; a chance to help others along a treacherous road that they do not know how to navigate either. I was forced onto this path of betrayal trauma without my consent, and with no way of knowing how to navigate it. I have no words to describe the horror I went through. Imagine you are dropped into a jungle with no clothes, no shelter, no food, and not even a knife, like some real life version of “Naked and Afraid.” It’s a pretty terrifying experience! Maybe I have read too many Louie L’Amour novels, maybe not. But it sure felt like I was helplessly all alone and left woefully unprepared to survive the jungle of betrayal trauma that I so unceremoniously dropped into.

I had to get my bearings, and fast! The learning curve was intense! I had no idea who to turn to, and I suddenly did not know who were my friends, and who were my foes. People I used to trust, could no longer be trusted, and I was faced with trusting people I barely knew. Everything was upside down and backwards. I had entered some alternate universe. Many people who were there to “help” me, were not helpful. So called, professionals and Church leaders alike, were not equipped to handle this any more than I was. It was difficult to know who to trust, when trust was already in very short supply. Trust, like water, is life giving. You have to trust someone, at some point, or you won’t survive. But who do you trust when your ‘truster’ is broken? In this case, I learned to find and trust people who had already been there. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can begin to know what this is like or what to do unless they have been there. I was lucky enough to find those people. But it took me way too long!

I found Addo Recovery and Bloom for Women nearer the end of my journey. How great would it have been if I had Jessica, my therapist, at the beginning! She had already walked this road, she has been there and back, and lived to tell about it! Although she is quite a bit younger than me, she went through the same thing 7 years before me. Dr. Kevin Skinner, who runs Addo, felt the betrayal of his father, which lead him to help women like his mom. Bless him! On Addo’s website it states that 41% of married women have unfaithful spouses. That is 30 million women!

Its time for me to put on my “guide gear” and stock up on provisions! I’m ready!Know that I am getting prepared to help you navigate through this jungle! So here are a few things I have in the works; I’m writing a book, which will be published sometime around the end of 2019, and I have been busy taking classes on how to be a certified transformational and NLP life coach, and energy healer. I have learned a lot in the last year on healing. And it’s information that I haven’t even begun to share with you. So this blog is going to become a significant player in helping do just that. The hope is that eventually I will turn this into a way for me to support myself and train many of you how to do the same. All I can say is, “Stay tuned!’ A lot of exciting things are happening behind the scenes. I have been fighting going down this path for a while. I told God, “I don’t want to be the one to do this!’ I had other plans. I bet you can guess what His answer back to me was. So I am stepping forward with faith.

One thing I have learned over the past 5 years is that the number of women that this has happened to is mind boggling! Just on one facebook group I belonged to, grew from 500 women to over 6,000 in one year! And the support groups for infidelity, addiction, and betrayal are popping up like dandelions. It is truly stunning to see the sheer numbers of women in this situation! Husband’s are leaving their wives and families after decades of marriage, and they are doing it at an alarming rate. I predict that in less than 10 years time we will have an epidemic of abandoned wives and children in this country. Many of these women have no source of income and they are living on welfare. God cannot be happy with these men!

In my mind, my blog is really insignificant, or so I thought. I started it as a way to heal from everything I was going though. I had been told to keep my Cheater’s addiction quiet and not tell anyone the first time he had been caught. After the second time I couldn’t stay silent. What happened to me is so horrific and wrong on so many levels that I had to tell my story! My trauma needs a voice! Truthfully, it’s been hard for me to keep up with it at times. I don’t write as often as I should or want to, for it to be “trending.” Quite frankly, I have been more than a little busy fighting for my own life at times to even feel good enough to post anything. During the long stretches of time when I get quiet, I am in my own intense healing mode. I tend to retreat when I am hurting. So my blog gets more than a little neglected. (Although, this is my 63rd post.) Slow and steady wins the race, I suppose. However, the other day while I was doing some research for my book I searched the terms betrayal trauma, and to my surprise and shock, there was my own blog in the top 3 results! Suddenly I started to realize that my blog is making a difference! So I did a little checking on my blog stats, and here’s the thing…the statistics on my blog are more than impressive for someone who is “insignificant!” Here they are:

  • Unique Visitors 5,000+
  • Total Views 20,000+
  • Organic Followers 2000+
  • Average Monthly Views 1,000

Somebody is paying attention to what I say. Which tells me, I need to keep saying it. I don’t know where this path is going to lead me, but with God’s help I am willing enough to go down it with Him.

I follow Chump Lady. I read her book about a year ago, and now I read her blog everyday, usually first thing in the morning. It has been my lifesaver and a beacon of truth in the chaos of being chumped. She keeps me focused on a few very important truths:

  • Chumps are mighty! You are mighty! You have survived, or are surviving, being Chumped. Only the mighty live to tell about it. Wear it like a badge of honor!
  • This is not about you, it never was about you. This is about him and his character flaws.
  • Cheaters are all alike. None of them are original in what they do or say before, during, or after cheating on you.
  • Reconciliation after betrayal hardly ever works! There is a whole, Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC) that makes a lot of money by hooking you on “hopium.” Don’t indulge.
  • Trust that the Cheater sucks, and he will always suck no matter how many fancy cars he drives or how expensive his house is or how many trips he takes with his wifestress. You are better off without him. He WILL cheat again. It’s the law of the harvest, he reaps what he sows. Be glad your are rid of him!

You should check her out! She is the only sane voice in the jungle. Truth bombs are delivered to you without a filter on a regular basis. She saved my life and my sanity! And she is funny while she is at it! She said something the other day that stuck with me about why she does this. She does what she does to make it ok for others like her to step forward and speak out about this atrocities of betrayal. Chump Lady, True Love Scam, and others like them are making it ok to talk about being betrayed. They are changing the narrative about Cheaters. I add my voice to theirs. I am mighty and I am getting more and more mighty everyday! The jungle is calling and I must go!

Stay Sweet! Be Strong!